After a while

Tonight was a gift from the Lord to me: I leave a "joke-about-it" dinner of mustard sauce and desserts in shot glasses at P.F. Changs, a local (though part of a chain) Chinese restaurant; neither of my friends Brad and Emily are hungry, nor am I, so David, our waiter, brings us coffee and tea. He's our friend too, evident when he doesn't charge us anything and then sits down at the table after he's clocked out (and when I forget to thank him later or leave a tip but only laugh and give a quick goodbye). We catch up for a while as the last few customers finish their meals.

I find as I push through the tall, glass doors of the restaurant to leave that I'm wishing I had talked less and listened more...but still I feel secure in their love and care--amazing, not to have to be perfect to be loved.

The truth is that as much as "talking too much" is something I often wish I could change about myself, I see the Lord's kindness in surrounding me with dear friends who listen well--sifting through my many thoughts, anecdotes, frustrations, and dreams--and latch on to what's most important in what I've shared. Then they speak to that with words that resonate in my heart as we leave peach tea, dim lighting, and laughter over the ridiculous wisdom in a fortune cookie, and I drive home in the cold and clear of a night after snow.

I realized again how thankfulness leads to peace and a beautiful trust in God's love and perfect control and activity in our lives. Insecurity and fear only rob from the store of blessings God pours into our lives to build in us a trust in His goodness!

God used David's thoughtfulness (literally, the thought: "I wonder if Lizzie has posted anything new on her blog?") to prompt me to start posting again. In the midst of a still incomplete understanding of who God has made me to be, I know that he has made and saved me for a reason, and that the experience of joy promised me when I'm in His will will be an indicator that that work I'm giving myself to, is, in fact, fulfilling part of the plan He has for me and bringing Him much glory. When I'm writing authentically, I feel that joy, so I know I must do it and His grace will be motivating it. Many things hinder me from sitting down at my desk (some things legitimate, some things sinful) but may I begin to respond more readily to the prompting to "post a little somthing"--maybe a thought, an anecdote, a frustration, a dream, maybe in poetry, maybe in prose...maybe in sentence fragments (haha).

My hope is that in the (wonderfully) unpredictable process of creating and writing, people will find something worth latching on to and taking with them: a moment of truth, a glimpse of God's heart, the knowledge that their struggle is shared, an encouragement....